We’ve made it to 2023! We’re supposed to be full of life, joy, hope; all the newness and renewed energy to push forward. However I found myself in a mood… it started last night but today I’m definitely in a mood. I didn’t want to speak on it through my podcast because I’ve had moments of feeling like I’ve wanted to cry all day. I’ve been on holiday break from work since December 23rd and yet I still feel like I need more time off the clock. These days of peace and freedom to do what I want, kind of when I want, to enjoy my creative side and also just enjoy just being. It took me a while to even sit up to write this, first because I couldn’t even get logged in. I guess I needed to just sit in my thoughts for a second.
So for me, this is how I get it out my head, I write. I’m sure there may be others that may not necessarily be in a “New Year, New Me” mood; crazy enough I was in a decent mood for the most part all while I was on break. As I’m on the brink of returning back to reality and having to go back into the office and after hearing of someone losing their life senselessly after just ringing in the New Year, I’m feeling so down. I rang in the New Year with my son, at home. I love my job, I love the people; however I do miss when I was furloughed during COVID. My mind was free! I was able to create. I could sleep in and get much needed rest. I realized what it felt like to be “wealthy, white people.” This is why I say that; when I was younger, I used to sit as a model for art classes (yes, I was fully clothed). The fact that people just took time out, in the middle of the day to simply just paint. I do not recall any black people in the classes, and I have no idea if these people were wealthy but they had a sense of peace and no worries. They might be eating cucumber sandwiches and sipping on Fiji water, I don’t know but there’s a part of me that wanted that freedom. And for a moment, I had it! I would paint, I would sing, I would write, I’d have more time with my son; yes it was in the midst of a pandemic but I barely had any restraints. SO in 2023, I am pushing to get back to that, and my income being completely as an entrepreneur. My full time is my main source of income, but I want that to switch and/or even be eliminated. Let me be me and make money in my sleep.
I need to travel and LIVE MORE! There’s family and friends that I NEED to see. Life is so short and you never know when it’s your time. It’s hard when you have a connection to someone that’s not in the same zip code but your coins get in the way of enjoying quality time. It’s hard when you have family with ailments, and we’re all not getting younger but you have to consider bills before you jump on a flight. It’s hard when you need to self care and get to somebody’s ocean to get a little sense of peace but you have to make good adult decisions. I have to change the narrative!
Now that I’ve let my brain throw up, I feel a little relieved and had a phone call from a person that helps calm me down. So I hope that this has helped someone in some way, sometimes you just need to write it down or talk it out, get it off your shoulders. Just take a few minutes if you’re feeling down, get it out your head and take the weight off.
I’m already working on my 2023 plans, basically an extension from 2022 goals, still leveling up in business and my personal life. At the end of each year, I recap on what I have accomplished; you’ll be surprised. Sometimes we forget how much can happen in 12 months, yes there may be some heartbreak and pain, but there has also been some amazing experiences with amazing people along the way. Focus on that! Focus on the things you can change. Focus on you and creating the best version of yourself. You have the pen, you have the paintbrush, create the life you want. It may not happen overnight but keep working towards your goals and making YOU happy. Life happens…make the most of each moment!
