We’ve made it to 2023! We’re supposed to be full of life, joy, hope; all the newness and renewed energy to push forward. However I found myself in a mood… it started last night but today I’m definitely in a mood. I didn’t want to speak on it through my podcast because I’ve had moments of feeling like I’ve wanted to cry all day. I’ve been on holiday break from work since December 23rd and yet I still feel like I need more time off the clock. These days of peace and freedom to do what I want, kind of when I want, to enjoy my creative side and also just enjoy just being. It took me a while to even sit up to write this, first because I couldn’t even get logged in. I guess I needed to just sit in my thoughts for a second.
So for me, this is how I get it out my head, I write. I’m sure there may be others that may not necessarily be in a “New Year, New Me” mood; crazy enough I was in a decent mood for the most part all while I was on break. As I’m on the brink of returning back to reality and having to go back into the office and after hearing of someone losing their life senselessly after just ringing in the New Year, I’m feeling so down. I rang in the New Year with my son, at home. I love my job, I love the people; however I do miss when I was furloughed during COVID. My mind was free! I was able to create. I could sleep in and get much needed rest. I realized what it felt like to be “wealthy, white people.” This is why I say that; when I was younger, I used to sit as a model for art classes (yes, I was fully clothed). The fact that people just took time out, in the middle of the day to simply just paint. I do not recall any black people in the classes, and I have no idea if these people were wealthy but they had a sense of peace and no worries. They might be eating cucumber sandwiches and sipping on Fiji water, I don’t know but there’s a part of me that wanted that freedom. And for a moment, I had it! I would paint, I would sing, I would write, I’d have more time with my son; yes it was in the midst of a pandemic but I barely had any restraints. SO in 2023, I am pushing to get back to that, and my income being completely as an entrepreneur. My full time is my main source of income, but I want that to switch and/or even be eliminated. Let me be me and make money in my sleep.
I need to travel and LIVE MORE! There’s family and friends that I NEED to see. Life is so short and you never know when it’s your time. It’s hard when you have a connection to someone that’s not in the same zip code but your coins get in the way of enjoying quality time. It’s hard when you have family with ailments, and we’re all not getting younger but you have to consider bills before you jump on a flight. It’s hard when you need to self care and get to somebody’s ocean to get a little sense of peace but you have to make good adult decisions. I have to change the narrative!
Now that I’ve let my brain throw up, I feel a little relieved and had a phone call from a person that helps calm me down. So I hope that this has helped someone in some way, sometimes you just need to write it down or talk it out, get it off your shoulders. Just take a few minutes if you’re feeling down, get it out your head and take the weight off.
I’m already working on my 2023 plans, basically an extension from 2022 goals, still leveling up in business and my personal life. At the end of each year, I recap on what I have accomplished; you’ll be surprised. Sometimes we forget how much can happen in 12 months, yes there may be some heartbreak and pain, but there has also been some amazing experiences with amazing people along the way. Focus on that! Focus on the things you can change. Focus on you and creating the best version of yourself. You have the pen, you have the paintbrush, create the life you want. It may not happen overnight but keep working towards your goals and making YOU happy. Life happens…make the most of each moment!
Sometimes God puts you in uncomfortable places to push you to move or make changes. As I grow older, my uncomfortability is non-negotiable. So maybe you need that push to do what’s best for you too.
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This blog may rub some people the wrong way and for that I apologize, however, hopefully by the end of listening to the podcast and reading the blog, you’ll get a better understanding of why looking out for my well being is non-negotiable.
As a woman, as an entrepreneur; I am constantly learning that I have to be assertive, speak my mind and be solid. This is in regards to business and personal relationships. Some people think just because you’re not getting cursed out, or my neck isn’t rolling, that I’m okay with certain situations. When in actuality, I am trying to keep my peace, my sanity and not come off as the angry black woman. My poetry and my art are my self expression and therapy for me. Oddly enough, doing this podcast and writing this blog gives me the opportunity to vent and sometimes just hear myself out loud. So when my clients receive emails and contracts from me, I have put my all into making sure that neither one of us are stressed, and that neither of us is uncomfortable. I love my clients, we get to know each other really well and sometimes that can be too a fault. However, please understand that NiSi’s Eyes is still a business and will be structured accordingly. So as I continue to gain knowledge, experience life, receive lessons, achieve victories, and sometimes be uncomfortable; things have to shift.
My uncomfortability is non-negotiable!
I may lose some clients, my circle of friends may get smaller but it is just about as big as a mustard seed already, but I have to make sure I’m good in all situations that I allow myself to be in. I’ve tolerated things for too long and I am the one that feels some kind of way at the end of the day, and in most cases it’s because there was miscommunication or something was lost in translation.
God knows what I can handle, and I have been put in some positions that could’ve broken some people. There were times that I felt that I’d break as well. I’ve been in positions where I didn’t know how rent was going to be paid, in positions where I was taken advantage of, someone breaking in my car within minutes of me coming back to my car with my child. God has put me in some uncomfortable positions because he knows I probably won’t move due to being content. So in being content, I don’t feel like I am using my gifts or growing as I should and being a vessel for others. So, that tells me it’s time to move. So in relationships, business and personal, I have to state what I require! If by me having requirements doesn’t work with you or your finances, I may not be the right person for you. Thank you for thinking of me… maybe next time or next lifetime.
There have been times where I haven’t spoken up because I was worried about how someone would feel or how they would take the information. However, that puts me in a position where I am the one stressed out and the other person/people may not have any idea that they are stressing me out and making me uncomfortable. Lately, I have been speaking out more on life lessons. Coming up as the baby of the family and a preacher’s kid, I haven’t spoken out about my life experiences because I knew my parents would hear it and it may affect them in a certain way. There’s a lot of poetry that I haven’t put out publicly because it’s my truth and in some cases, it’s erotic poetry so I keep those things out of the public eye as much. I am 40 years old and a lot of times still feel like I’m still a little girl. It is an uncomfortable fight that I have with myself on a regular.
As I am growing personally as a woman and in relationships, it allows me to grow in business as well.
Here’s what’s changing for me to be comfortable in my business and personal life:
-Yonitry Part 2 & 3 will be out by the end of the year and more of my life will be revealed
-I will walk more, drink more water and figure out my migraine triggers
-Out of town/overnight bookings (which means you have signed a contract and put a deposit in) will now include the fees to cover my hotel room for the duration of travel
-Relationships/ Situationships require 2 people, I will not be the one doing the most reaching and that same energy not be returned
-All Bridal/Pageant appointments will require a 30 min or less video chat to make sure we’re on the same page and review contract
-I will push myself to be involved in more opportunities to share my art (poetry and visual)
-I am releasing a poetry/vocal album by the end of the year along with my first book
-I will continue to be available to communicate and help my clients the best way I can so that they continually feel comfortably flawless.
Interested in being a guest on the podcast? Click HERE to schedule a what day works best for you or feel free to email me at: info@NiSisEyes.com with the subject: Through the Eyes of NiSi: The Podcast
It has truly been a pleasure to meet THEE Lunesha Bridges, we were cousins at first sight and instantly connected. She has truly been a blessing in my life and I’m sure she will be in yours as well. Watch the Facebook Live below and check out all the businesses that were mentioned in the live (it may take a moment for the Facebook Live video to come up, if you’re ready to see it and can’t wait; visit G.E.M.S Facebook page or NiSi Lee Facebook page).
So some of you may know, I’ve been a lil MIA. Well, I was on a west coast tour traveling for business and pleasure. I was in Newport Beach and San Diego, California; then finished it off in Vegas with my sister. So here’s how it all went down… (make sure you click the hyperlinks throughout to get connected).
It all started on April 15th, packed up and headed to the west coast to be the lead makeup artist for my cousin, Leota’s wedding. This trip was full of firsts. First time having to consolidate my makeup kit for flying purposes, and boy did I learn a lot (thats the sound of the price going up).
April 16th- Newport Beach
The plan was to fly with my makeup kit as a carry on, however the flight was so full that I had to check my bag. I prayed really hard that it all made it to my final destination, as I had 3 flights just to get there (in and out of airlines from about 10am-9pm) and then the time difference. So I had to get some rest since I had an early morning of bridal makeup; and then my first wedding on a yacht. I met an amazing makeup artist that assisted me with my cousin’s bridal party. Thank you so much Joanna for helping to beautify the majority of the bridal squad (we did not provide makeup services to all that participated).
The IconMy first time on a yacht
The sisters (my cousins)
I had the chance to see some family that I haven’t seen since I was a child; and now NiSi is all grown up. Thanks to my cousin, Leota for insisting that I be apart of making her memories flawless.
April 17th- San Diego
The morning after…
It was another early morning, as my sister came to pick me up so we could head back to San Diego. I got to see my sister play the lead role in a really good play (I think it was better cause she was in it but I may be a bit biased) called “The OtHer Place.” Here’s a little overview via Wikipedia: Juliana is fifty two years old and a brilliant drug-company scientist. She is giving a speech to a neurological convention. As she speaks we cut away to scenes with her doctor, phone calls from her estranged daughter, and arguments with her husband who may or may not be divorcing her. Through it all she constantly refers to “the other place”, a cottage on Cape Cod that the family once owned, and a place where Juliana feels she may reunite with her missing daughter and find some peace of mind. Juliana becomes argumentative with everyone around her and appears increasingly confused. The phone calls from the missing daughter may be a delusion. Juliana believes that she has a brain tumor and says that her mother and other relatives all died of brain tumors at an early age. Eventually Juliana actually visits the other place and encounters the current owner whom she mistakenly believes to be her daughter. The woman is initially hostile and has problems of her own. But soon the two women find mutual comfort as Juliana’s husband arrives to take her home. In a poignant closing monologue she finally confronts what is really going on.
The cast of The OtHer Place
I spent a few days in San Diego experiencing the sunshine and blue skies, the crazy parking situations and sight seeing. It’s nothing like spending time with your best friend, who happens to be your sister. We realized that we were finally having our Sister’s Trip!!!
After a few days, we headed to Las Vegas!
April 22nd- MY BEARTHDAY!!!!
We took a quick flight and I started my bearthday at Griddlecakes, they even gave me a cute birthday pancake even though the rain tried to make an appearance (as usual).
I finished the evening support my good friends, CJ Williams and BL in “Soul of Motown (Vegas).” It was an amazing show, they are currently the #2 show in Las Vegas, so make sure you check them out. #SoulofMotownVegas
#SoulofMotownVegas
#SoulofMotownVegas
I thought the night was over, little did I know; there was more in store. I ended up at a lovely venue called The Nomad Library, it was Brian Newman After Dark. He is the bandleader and arranger for Lady Gaga’s Jazz & Piano show. Now listen here, one thing that I am learning as I continue to grow in my craft and artistry; is to be personable. This man knew my name from being introduced to him prior to the show starting, after it ended and a day or so after… that’s impressive. Brian, thanks for a great show full of many guest performances; some of which were your amazing band, JayR Beat Box, Ronny Foster, Angie Pontani and Tyriq Johnson. Listen, the time difference most definitely caught up with me. If I had been in NC, I would’ve been going to sleep at about 5am.
This venue was dope.
To command attention without saying a word…
You may not know Ronny Foster, but his music has been sampled by J Cole, Kanye West, and A Tribe Called Quest (to name a few)
Be sure to check out Tyriq Johnson’s original music and his Serpentine Fire show
The Human Beatbox
Thee Brian Newman….
April 23rd- Las Vegas
This was the day where things began to get a little interesting (stay tuned). I got a chance to sight see a bit and got in a lot of steps. I got a chance to see some beautiful artistry, met some talented people, and connected with some amazing artists. Of course we saw the Venetian, the Bellagio, The Mirage, the MGM, etc. but the best parts of the day was connecting with other artists. We went into the Forum Shops at Caesar and happened to meet a beautiful artist, Naneth Peterson at Blu Fine Art ; she definitely poured into me and gave me some things to think about (she was also connected to my sister for her work with Afro Latino Travels with Kim Haas). We met the amazing Marcus Glenn and his beautiful wife, Yolanda (Princess Yo has been added to her nicknames- inside joke), it was great talking with them and soaking up some of their knowledge, please go check them out and support them. Y’all better be prepared to be sick of me after talking to them.
We found ourselves at the Golden Nugget.
A little bit of history I learned, my grandparents always stayed at the Golden Nugget anytime they came to Vegas. I was the young one of the family, so I didn’t know about my grandparents escapades before I made my grand entrance.
April 24th
We just chilled the majority of the day, but I began to feel extremely tired no matter how much I slept. Y’all I played pool for the first time in like 15-20 years. I didn’t win but I hit what I was supposed to hit and they sometimes went in the pocket. After the tiredness, the cough and scratchy throat came in with the congestion after that to join the party. I thought it was just a cold, so I took a couple vitamins and Ginseng.
April 25th
Last day to play, but not much playing took place. I was exhausted and the more and more I thought about it, it had to be the lady that coughed without covering her mouth while my sis and I were walking down the strip. She literally was sitting on the side of the walk way and let out a huge, deep down within cough. Yes, it could’ve been someone else but that was the most outwardly presentation of COVID on display. I had a red eye flight but first, we were going to see Tyriq Johnson sing with Santa Fe and the Fat City Horns. I was so exhausted but loved every minute of the live instrumentation.
April 26th- I’m Goin Home
The exhaustion really hit me prior to and on the 4 hour flight home. Thank God for good friends that keep me awake while waiting in the airport and checking on me throughout my journey. My flight took off at 12:30am (basically 3:30am NC time), it didn’t take long for me to fall asleep; I slept through the snacks too. There was a medical emergency on the plane but we didn’t have to land. After an Uber ride to my car (thanks to the bestie for keeping an eye on it) and a hour drive home, the bed was most definitely my friend. However, the realization came as soon as I got in the house and I took my at home Covid test.. it was positive. So as I sit here in bed, feeling a little better with tissue stuck up my nose and an occasional, yet frequent cough; I am glad that you stayed around for the finale of Sliding into 40 journey.
HEAR MUSIC FROM THE AMAZING ARTISTS I GOT TO EXPERIENCE IN VEGAS
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Interested in free advertising or being a guest on the show, click HERE to schedule a time to chat or feel free to email me at: info@NiSisEyes.com with the subject: Through the Eyes of NiSi radio show
Let’s get into the after show of Through the Eyes of NiSi radio show. Today’s show is not all about Galentine’s Day, but about friendships (or lack thereof), self love and mental health. All of February was dedicated to black love, and in preparation for the Hallmark holiday, Valentine’s Day; I was putting all of my ideas down and realized some things. There are a lot of people who are not happy about Valentine’s Day. Just like the ‘big’ holidays, people are either dealing with trauma, loss, loneliness, etc. Fellas, don’t think this is all about the ladies. We know y’all go through a lot too. You wake up sometimes and hope that today is not the day you become a hashtag just for being you. I tell guys all the time, it’s okay to take off your superhero cape sometimes, its okay to cry, its okay to be vulnerable. You may feel like you haven’t found those people that you are comfortable enough to be transparent with, but just know you may need to get out of your head too and speak your truth. Find the people or a person that you feel comfortable with “letting them in.”
On a transparent note: I am a single woman, the past few Valentine’s Days I have been alone. I used a Ruth’s Chris gift card this year and came home to Netflix and chill. For some people, being alone can be painful. I spend a lot of time working on my businesses or watching tv, or talking to my sister and/or friends. However, there are times when I have no words at all and just don’t want to talk. These are the times that I pull out a my canvas and paintbrush, or I use my phone to type a poem in my Notes app. I sometimes take the time to write out all of my accomplishments (mostly at the end of the year), but this way I begin to reminisce about what I’ve done and how good it felt to reach those mountaintops that I may not have thought were possible. There are even times that I just press record on my Voice Memo and just say how I’m feeling. For me, it’s all about getting it out, getting it off my chest, getting it off my head. I am not a therapist or a specialist of any kind, however this is what works for me. Should you need more resources, they are some listed below. I am blessed to have friends that call me if they haven’t heard from me. I’m an introvert but all that I do makes me seem like an extrovert.
Let me give my flowers to those people in my adult life that have been my sounding board and have seen me cry the ugly cry and listened to me try to get some words out: Tina, Betty, Courtney, Amie, and Natasha. THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE FOR ME! Sometimes you don’t even know you need somebody but I’m glad I have y’all for the good, bad and the ugly. I have also been blessed with getting to know some other ladies. I began doing more bridal clients last year with my business partner, Courtney; through knowing her I have met some other amazing Makeup Artists and Hairstylists. We have a group chat that we share our wins, inspirational words, prayers, ideas, thought provoking sermons, laughs, love and encouragement. So, Latoya, Johanna, C’Andra, Toya (and Courtney) thank you for lifting me up, especially in the midst of my day when I get in my head.
Valentine’s Day as I’ve said before, is a Hallmark money making holiday. Love is an action word, it should be shown daily. It doesn’t have to be just relationships. Love languages make a huge impact on a relationship. Remember, love languages tell you how you, yourself feel loved. If my love language is quality time, buying me gifts may not mean as much because all I want you to do is be around. By not acknowledging someone’s love language, it’s just like feeling unheard.
Everyday we are learning how to cope in this ‘new normal.’ In the midst of it all, we all should just be kind to each other. Before COVID-19, there was pain and whenever, if ever, we get past it; we still need to show compassion. The way I behave and interact with people are based on lessons learned from past experiences. Some people have been dealing with their own demons for years and have had to sit still with them being in isolation due to COVID. Understand that we all have traveled down our own paths and have all experienced life- some trying times and some triumphs. Some of us have lots of friends and family and some have lost lots of family and friends due to disagreements, disconnects or death.
At the end of the day, we all have stuff. Some of us have learned how to cope, and some of us are still trying to figure it all out. You never know where someone is on their personal journey, so be mindful that everyone’s journey is not yours.
Be sure to leave your comments and any feedback in the comment section below.Please also share additional resources below.
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text “STRENGTH” to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go to suicidepreventionlifeline.org.
You can stream the show on iHeart, iTunes, Streema, TuneIn, etc.
Make sure you check in next week for our Month End Artist Spotlight, recording artist SY SMITH!
Interested in free advertising or being a guest on the show, click HERE to schedule a time to chat or feel free to email me at: info@NiSisEyes.com with the subject: Through the Eyes of NiSi radio show
Always with a Brush,
NiSi
To educate, beautify and empower one canvas at a time.
